I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
