then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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