Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
