Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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