the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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