Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
