They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
