At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Someone shit on the floor
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
