I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You ate ashes out of my bong
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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