It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
