I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
