a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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