well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
