We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Your cock deserves a montage
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
