Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
