She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
