My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
