Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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