Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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