your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
