I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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