the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
