FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize