smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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