Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
