You're my little dorito
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
