Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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