Pants 0. Shit 1.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
