And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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