no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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