Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
