So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
