i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
