I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
