i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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