Four minutes until I can fart!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The power of my boobs compel you
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
