her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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