his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
