Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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