I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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