If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
