So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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