i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
