I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
