Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
