you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
