we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
