Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
