I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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