I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
