i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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